Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Vote Republican!

I really need to plan something for tomorrow, but this GOP debate is hilarious. Hilarious.

"What would you do about black-on-black crime?"

* Encourage black people to work on family values

* Blame the educational system but not give solutions for fixing the educational system

"Death Penalty: What Would Jesus Do?"

* Feel really bad about it, because it's such an awful choice

* Kill the bastards anyway

"Do you believe every word of the bible?"

* Yes.

* We need to love our neighbors, as ourselves (This answer came right after his response to the previous question about killing bastards)

"What would you do to repair the image of America in the eyes of the Muslim world?"

* Stay on the offense!

* Fuck Islamic Terrorism!

* Continue our surge of more troops!

* Fight those who want to stop our surge!

* Our troops are awesome!

* We don't apologize!

* Fuck yeah!

"Is waterboarding torture?"

* I'm against torture.

* I don't want to discuss what we do.

* We shouldn't even discuss torture!

"Aren't the troops professional enough to serve with gays and lesbians?"

* We can't force our Christian troops to fight with people they don't like

* We have a right to whatever feelings we want

* (To the face of the gay 42-year veteran that asked the question) We're just not ready for fightin' alongside gays

"Why don't African-Americans vote republican?"

* The government makes Black people go to bad schools, and we need to allow them to go to private schools instead

Maybe it's because of those family values they lack.

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