What Another Sub Told Me

"PERIOD 2: Terrible, terrible class. The worst that I have ever subbed for."

- Angry note from the substitute

I like to save these notes. They're kinda cute, in their own depressing way.

Valentine's Fun for Biology Lovers

Valentine's Day drags its tentacles into the laboratory. I hate poems and puns but these are slightly awesome:

I give you my heart on this Valentine’s Day
In a jar you can keep on your shelf,
With your books and your papers, in cluttered array,
Or a prominent place by itself.
It is really my heart—deep within every cell
Are the strands of my own DNA;
I could have just given you chocolates, but, well,
My message is clearer this way:
I love you much more than a card, or some flowers,
Or trinkets you see in the stores;
So it’s off to the lab for a few hundred hours,
And my heart—if you’ll take it—is yours.

- The Digital Cuttlefish

***

A rat cadaver’s donor heart
Is stripped of every cell
The protein fiber matrix left
Looks like a ghostly shell;
This matrix, in a sterile flask,
Is bathed in rat-heart goo
With both adult and baby cells,
And starts to grow anew.
In only days, the growing heart
May beat, or merely twitch,
Then work, at roughly two percent…

Like yours, you heartless bitch.

- The Digital Cuttlefish

***



- Ironic Sans

***





- Jacks of Science

***

Students: if you give out anything like these to loved ones (or awesome teachers), I will give you a million 'A ' plusses. Me and my awesome grading techniques.

Today I bought a laser pointer that also can remotely advance slides in a PowerPoint presentation.

That is all.